All Praise Is Not Created Equal: The Do's and Don't's of Praising Your Child

In 2003, Dr. Roy Baumeister, contracted by the Association for Psychological Science, review 200 self-esteem research studies concluding that there was no real correlation between having high self-esteem and increased academic or career performance, nor did it impact alcohol usage or one’s tendencies to be violent. In fact, further research indicated that when college students were doing poorly in a course, esteem-building praise resulted in causing their grades to decline even further.

Be Specific

However, this data does not suggest that all praise is unhealthy or detrimental to children’s success because a great majority of literature shows that praise can be an effective, positive, and motivating force. Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, co-authors of the book NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children, find that “the effects of praise can vary significantly, depending on the praise given. To be effective, researchers have found, praise needs to be specific.” Hence, making sweeping statements of praise such as “You are so smart” or “You are so musically talented” do little to increase your child’s drive or success. Instead, Bronson and Merryman suggest that praise be doled out for specific incidents of achievement, “You really did amazing on your algebra test” or “I was impressed at how well you dribbled the ball towards the goal, practice is certainly paying off.” Your child will feel as if he or she is understood and valued as an individual with certain strengths and abilities, while developing a sense of accomplishment and pride in those particular aspects of their self.

Mean It

Your children have spent their lifetime studying your behaviors, speech patterns, facial expressions and values, don’t fool yourself into believing that your children can’t ‘hear’ or ‘see’ your true intentions (...continue reading...)

2-Year-Old Left at McDonald’s Overnight: Should parents be charged with neglect?

For the past day, amidst news reports and blogs covering Governor Walker’s Budget Bill and the Madison protests, one particular story seems to have captivated its audiences and caused a number of heated debates. The story: A 2-year-old forgotten overnight at Milwaukee area McDonald’s. According to Jennifer Tomazic of CBS58 News:

"Milwaukee Police say at least 10 kids and adults were dining at the McDonald's at Potter and Kinnikinnick Sunday afternoon and the toddler was apparently left there.
When the family got home, police say all the kids scattered and went to bed an no one noticed the little girl wasn't there.
It wasn't until Monday morning when the 2-year-old's aunt saw her picture on television that she alerted the girl's mother that she was missing."

As of this morning, the child remains in custody of the Bureau of Milwaukee Child Welfare as workers investigate her parents and the circumstances surrounding this incident.

The Debate: Are the parents guilty of neglect? With strong opinions on both sides, respondents have expressed their recommendations for the future of the 2-year-old girl. Ranging from an immediate termination of parental rights to more empathetic responses excusing the parent’s oversight.

A quick Internet search will surely uncover a plethora of cases in which parents were charged with neglect after leaving their toddlers unattended or alone for a period of time. However, a notable difference is, that the majority of those toddlers were either left intentionally or those incidents tragically ended in the child’s death. Clearly those factors differ greatly from this particular case, as it would appear that the child was allegedly left by mistake, there are no prior indications of abuse, and the child was not harmed as result of her parent’s carelessness.

A Review of Negligence Law. According to Federal law, negligence of a child is defined as a failure to use ordinary care either by act or omission, or failing to exercise the amount of care that a reasonably

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International Women's Day: Celebrating Womankind for 100 Years

Press Release: International Women's Day

2011 International Women's Day Theme:

Equal access to education, training and science and technology: Pathway to decent work for women

The first International Women’s Day events were run in Austria, Denmark, Germany and Switzerland in 1911 and attended by over one million people. 100 years on, International Women’s Day (IWD) has become a global mainstream phenomena celebrated across many countries and is an official holiday in approximately 25 countries including Afghanistan, Russia, Ukraine, Vietnam and Zambia.

Every year, we see extensive global women’s activity on March 8th. This year, performer and social activist, Annie Lennox, will lead a mass march across London’s Millennium Bridge for charity. In Washington D.C. over a thousand people will descend on Capitol Hill demanding a better world for millions of marginalized women and girls around the globe. A major international businesswomen’s conference will be hosted in Sydney, Australia. Schools and governments around the world

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Sheboygan man charged with stalking: No longer just a crime of the famous

Steven J. David, a 53-year-old Walworth man, was arrested in Sheboygan County today, for allegedy stalking his ex-girlfriend over a period of 2 years. If convicted of felony stalking, David could face up to 18 months in prison (Sheboygan Press, 2011).

According to the criminal complaint:

The complainent, a 36-year-old Sheboygan County woman, informed police that she had worked for David in 2007. In 2008, the two began dating; in February, 2009 the two began to have problems according to the woman. Apparently David felt that she wasn’t spending enough time with him and therefore began showing up unexpectedly. Allegedly, David’s unwanted appearances even prompted the woman’s college to ban him from the campus.

In April 2009, the woman states that she attempted to end the relationship with David and in June 2009 sent a certified letter requesting that he have no further contact with her or her family; and when he continued to persue her, she obtained a temporary restraining order in August 2009. However David did not respect her requests and in the months followed showed up at her work; followed her numerous times; informed her that he had a private investigator following her; drove past her home repeatedly; and filed a civil lawsuit against her, claiming that she owed him money.

What is Stalking?

While many are familiar with the term “stalking,” this intrusive behavior was not considered criminal until the 1990’s. Passed initially in the state of California, this crime was associated most often with obsessed fans that would follow and harass the famous movie stars. Today, it has been reported that 1 in 12 women, and 1 in 45 men, find themselves victims of a stalker.

According to Petrocelli (2007), “like many other crimes

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Why Does She Stay? Helping the Victim of Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse victims are often asked, “So if you or your children were being abused, then why did you stay?” Although this may seem like a relevant question, it places unjust blame on the victim.

And to this question, the victim's only response is “I don’t know. I just never thought it would get this bad. I believed him when he apologized and promised to never lose his temper again.”

But the abuser does do it again, and again, and again. Those of us who are on 'the outside, looking in' seem to have the ability to predict that the abuser will inevitably strike again… so why can’t she (victim)? Individuals who have never experienced domestic abuse often are likely to suggest a plethora of flawed reasonings for why she would stay, i.e. she likes being abused; she’s too stupid to leave; she’s probably exaggerating the abuse; maybe she instigates it, et. But clearly none of these reasons are correct.

The truth is, Domestic Abuse Victims Unconsciously Stay With Their Abuser because they:

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Education is Key to Preventing Teen Dating Violence: Free Online Resources

While National Teen Dating Violence and Prevention Month has ended, the continued prevalence of teens experiencing abuse with their relationships clearly demonstrates that there remains an ongoing need for continued education and resources.

The Facts: Teen Dating Violence

• Teen dating violence includes physical, sexual, and emotional abuse;
• Studies find that girls as young as 11 years old report being victimized by a potential partner;
• One study finds: 96% of teenagers have been emotionally or psychologically abused by a partner;
• 33% of teens report that they have been physically assaulted by a partner;
• 1 in 11 high school teens report having been forced to have sexual intercourse SafeYouth.org;
• 25% of teen respondents say that they have been called harassed, controlled, threatened, called names or put down by their partner through texting or cellular phone;
• One in four tweens (24%) say dating violence-physically hurting relationship partners-is a serious problem for their age (Liz Clairborne, Inc/Teen Research Unlimited, 2007).

Young girls in particular, are reporting increased levels of abuse within their relationships. Sadly,

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10 Early Warning Signs: Identifying the Future Abuser

Teens have increasing reported that they are now or have already been in an abusive relationship. Like their adult counterparts, teen abusers may have certain behavioral traits that serve as warning signs of their potential to become abusive. While it is rare that an abuser will allow himself to exhibit these behaviors in the beginning stages of a relationship, abusers are incapable of maintaining allover control of their abusive personality traits long-term. As the abuser becomes more secure in their relationship, their unhealthy behaviors will increasingly present themselves.

In hindsight, most victims report that they had noticed warning signs that indicated their abuser increasing anger, and/or controlling, possessive, or jealous behavior; but regrettably they ignored or excused such behaviors. Akin to domestic violence, teen-dating abuse is defined as a pattern of abusive behaviors employed to control another person. Teen abusers tend to be extremely possessive and jealous, attempt to manipulate their victims by making all the decisions, make constant demeaning and/or devaluing comments which cause their partner to question her abilities and beliefs, and essentially hold their victim emotionally hostage by threatening to kill themselves, stalking, threats of violence, or by forcing intimacy.

It is important that you acknowledge any fears or concerns regarding your partner’s unhealthy behaviors. In fact, it is not enough just to know the warning signs of an abusive personality, but you must take action when something feels uncomfortable or “not right” to ensure your personal safety. Do not discount the power of your instincts, these suspicious feelings serve as your internal warning alarm, and they have kept you safe thus far. Do not seek alternative causes for your concerns or attempt to debunk or diminish your fears regarding his abusive behaviors; we already know that the level of violence and abuse will only continue to escalate over time. Recognize that you are feeling wary and fearful of your partner, also that patterns of abuse indicate that aggression will only increase, and that your intuition is warning you that you are in real danger. Learn the following behavioral traits of an abuser to protect yourself.

EARLY WARNING SIGN #1: COMMITMENT DRIVEN. This abuser claims to have fallen “heads over heels in love” with you, suggests it was “love at first site,” and believes you are soul mates. They will likely compare you to their ex’s, claiming that they have never felt so at comfortable, so “right,” or that they have never loved anyone as much as they love you. These individuals may propose....

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Does Mr. Right Have Abusive Personality Traits? Predicting Future Abuse Continue reading on Examiner.com: Does Mr. Right Have an Abusive Personality

February is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. In the past decades reports of dating violence have increased exponentially, suggesting that this is both a social and public health concern. While the majority of research to date has exclusively targeted adult respondents, recent studies have also found that teen dating violence poses a significant problem due to its shocking prevalence, its harmful physical and mental health effects, and also because these unhealthy relationships occur at a developmental life stage in which romantic relationships are first experienced and interactional patterns are learned and used to gauge all future relationships, thus often carrying over into adulthood.

Teen Misconception. While the abuses of teen dating violence can range from emotional, mental and verbal abuse, to physical assaults, rape and even murder, one thing is certain, abusive teen relationships follow the same patterns of adult domestic violence. Similarly, teen abusers display characteristics

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