Those who subscribe to the family systems theory view family as a system made up of the marital, parent-child, parenting, and sibling subsystems, where each of the systems intermittently is influenced by the other (VanderValk, 2007). The family unit is a complex, integrated whole (Cox & Paley, 1997), that when disruption is experienced, such as divorce, becomes severed and the affects onto its members are unavoidable. “Distress in the marital dyad is likely to extend to other parts of the family system,” (Inge, 170). The family stressors caused by the divorce may include one or more affects, such as deteriorated parent-child relations and impaired parenting and parental depression. Additionally indirect stressors, known as spillover effects can include: “problems in the marital realm spill over into the parenting system, thus transferring to the parent-child system,” (Inge, 170). A recent study of middle and high school children found that divorce was identified as one of the main reasons for adolescents to seek counseling services from school counselors (Kesici, 2007). Additionally, children of divorced parents are more likely to commit suicide, become addicted to drugs, report greater levels of stress, and also report that the problems related to their parents’ divorce has affected their personal, social, career, and academic development (Kesici, 2007).
Frisco (2007) finds that “since the 1990's, more then 1 million children each year experience parental divorce, and 50% = 60% of U.S. children born in the 1990's will live in a single-parent household at some point in time,” (p. 722). In the 1960’s the divorce rate began to rise, as result, parents, professional, and family courts were made to make important and difficult decisions regarding the proper placement and custody of the children displaced by divorce (Kelly, 2007). At that time, it was customary for the mother to be a stay-at-home parent, thus being the primary caretaker, and therefore placement was usually granted to her, while allowing for occasional visits with the father (Kelly, 2007). However, around the 1980’s and 1990’s, as gender roles began to change and more women entered the work force, family courts began to see a greater need and benefit in mandating shared placement and custody of the minor children (Kelly, 2007). Today, the family courts and families are making many different placement arrangements. These arrangements vary substantially from; no contact, to every other weekend, to a weekly rotation between households.
While the results of such placements arrangements are difficult to obtain due to the large variation of external and internal factors, the author feels it imperative to focus of the extreme of the placements options, i.e. the rotating weekly placement. This type of placement arrangement has been proposed as a means of keeping fathers involved in the child’s social, educational, and work life, thereby increasing their overall time together. While this sounds beneficial at first glace, there is no conclusive data that suggests such a placement arrangement is better for the child’s development. Kelly (2007) reports that many mothers and mental health professionals express dissatisfaction in this rotation and believe “that children cannot go to school from more than one residence,” (p. 38). Conversely, children themselves, often report a desire to spend more time with their nonresident parent; request longer visits, and would gladly embrace a rotating week placement (Kelly, 2007). While this author believes that the weekly rotation would be emotionally and mentally taxing for the both the child and the parent, limited data has shown otherwise. “Early studies of joint physical custody reported better adjustment of children compared with those in sole custody, and more satisfaction expressed by shared-custody youngsters, but samples were small, nonrepresentative, and self-selected, (Kelly, 46). Such limited research has however “indicated that children in joint physical custody arrangements were better adjusted across multiple measures of general, behavioral, and emotional adjustment, self-esteem, family relations, and divorce-specific adjustment,” (Kelly, 46). Given this compilation of data, it is difficult to determine the specific placement arrangements appropriate to foster the emotional and mental needs of the child. Therefore, it is necessary to consider a wide variety of factors, i.e. parental involvement, mental health, financial resources, child’s wishes, et., before making a placement decision.
Regardless of the placement arrangements, parents’ attitudes and behavior may have the greatest impact on the child’s development, security, and over-all functioning. Cowdery and Knudson-Martin (2005) suggest that mother’s attitudes regarding the father’s involvement are significant to the father’s involvement in the child’s life, both during and after the marriage. Studies have also shown that when a mother believes that she is the better caretaker and remains hostile toward the father, that he is less likely to maintain relationships with his children (Kelly, 2007). “Maternal hurt and anger about the divorce also predicted more perceptions of visiting problems, compared with mothers who were not as angry and hurt, and mothers reported interfering with or sabotaging visits between 25% and 35% of the time,” (Kelly, 41). Unfortunately, when divorced couples are unable to resolve their conflicts and interpartental discord continues, the nonresident parent disconnects becoming less involved, more difficulties arise between the parent-child relationships and subsequently continue deteriorating into adulthood (Ahrons & Tanner, 2003). Carter and McGoldrick (2005) suggest that the way in which a family chooses to reorganize and relate to one another after a divorce is directly related to the health of all the members involved. Further, Carter and McGoldrick suggest that in order to ensure healthy adjustment of children during and after the divorce that; (1) Economic and psychological needs must be met; relationships that were important prior to the divorce must be maintained in a supportive way; the relationship between the parents must be supportive and cooperative; and healthy boundaries are essential.
Over the past 50 years, divorce rates have risen, gender roles have changed, and the family court system has been placed in the position of creating appropriate and fail placement arrangements. While there has been little conclusive data regarding the benefit or harm that such unique placements may cause, it has been found that children thrive emotionally, mentally, socially when involved with both parents. And while parents may not always be in agreement with the findings of the court, or the actions of the other parent, it is essential that they remain unbiased and supportive, always encouraging of the involvement of the one another, in order to provide the greatest benefit to their child.
Stephanie Lowrance-Henckel
References
Ahrons, C.R., & Tanner, J.L. (2003). Adult children and their fathers: Relationship changes 20 years after parental divorce. Family Relations, 52, 340-351.
Carter, B. & McGoldrick, M. (1999). The expanded family life cycle: Individual, family, and social perspectives. Allyn and Bacon. Needham Heights, MA
Cowdery, R.S., & Knudson-Marin, C. (2005). The construction of motherhood: Tasks, relational connection, and gender equality. Family Relations, 54, 335-345.
Cox, M.J. & Pailey, B. (1997). Families as systems. Annual Review of Psychology, 48, 243-267.
Frisco, M.L., Muller, C., & Frank, K. (2007). Parents’ union dissolution and adolescents’ school performance: Comparing methodological approaches. Journal of Marriage and Family, 69(3), 721-741.
Kelly, J.B. (2007). Children’s living arrangements following separation and divorce: Insights from empirical and clinical research. Family Process, 46(1), 35-52.
Kesici, S. (2007). Middle school students’ guidance and counseling needs. Kuram ve Uygulamade Egitim Bilimleri, 7(3), 1325-1349.
VanderValk, I., de Goede, M., Spruijt, E., & Meeus, W. (2007). A Longitudinal study on transactional relations between parental marital distress and adolescent emotional adjustment. Family Therapy, 34(3), 169-190.
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